Damnit! I lost the challenge…again.
And for that matter—the game.
I promised myself I would write more and share my experiences here in New Orleans. I have failed in doing so thus far. I will continue to challenge myself in bringing forward my story and the stories of those around me.
This last month has driven me crazy. I realized that while I was at school I kept myself way busier than I had even realized. In those four years I would lay down to go to bed…and I would go to bed. I was THAT tired. I was never plagued by this “mind running a mile a minute” nonsense before bed. How could I waste my time on reflecting and/or worrying? In fact, I’m almost certain at the time I had thought I was bizarre because I never planned too far ahead or thought of anything outside of a four-week span.
LOL, hey there reality check.
I can’t even say that since my last post I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I think I’ve been struck with a real strong case of the feels. SO MANY DAMN EMOTIONS have been occurring. You name it, I’ve felt it: Longing, sadness, anger, joy, elatedness, fear, anxiety, laziness, motivated, concern, fear, unwanted, fear..have I mentioned fear?!
I wish I could even voice what I’m afraid of. I can’t tell if it’s the future, the past, the present, the city, the people, the lack of a love life. Who knows? Amidst all of that, I’m strangely happy. I feel like I’m in the right place doing what I need to be doing. Part of me wishes I was doing more, whatever more is. I keep reminding myself that it’s absolutely okay to have time to read leisurely.
So, I’m upping the challenge for myself. I tried to get myself into the routine of one blog post a week. I think I’ll up it to two. My hope is that the increased challenge will push me to write more. Here’s to writing and the feels.
Until next time ;]