Monthly Archives: October 2013

Damnit! I lost the challenge…again.

And for that matter—the game.

I promised myself I would write more and share my experiences here in New Orleans.  I have failed in doing so thus far.  I will continue to challenge myself in bringing forward my story and the stories of those around me.

This last month has driven me crazy.  I realized that while I was at school I kept myself way busier than I had even realized.  In those four years I would lay down to go to bed…and I would go to bed. I was THAT tired. I was never plagued by this “mind running a mile a minute” nonsense before bed. How could I waste my time on reflecting and/or worrying?  In fact, I’m almost certain at the time I had thought I was bizarre because I never planned too far ahead or thought of anything outside of a four-week span.

LOL, hey there reality check.

I can’t even say that since my last post I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I think I’ve been struck with a real strong case of the feels. SO MANY DAMN EMOTIONS have been occurring. You name it, I’ve felt it:  Longing, sadness, anger, joy, elatedness, fear, anxiety, laziness, motivated, concern, fear, unwanted, fear..have I mentioned fear?!

I wish I could even voice what I’m afraid of. I can’t tell if it’s the future, the past, the present, the city, the people, the lack of a love life. Who knows?  Amidst all of that, I’m strangely happy.  I feel like I’m in the right place doing what I need to be doing.  Part of me wishes I was doing more, whatever more is. I keep reminding myself that it’s absolutely okay to have time to read leisurely.

So, I’m upping the challenge for myself. I tried to get myself into the routine of one blog post a week.   I think I’ll up it to two.  My hope is that the increased challenge will push me to write more. Here’s to writing and the feels.

Until next time ;]
Miss Enlund

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